Let’s talk about limiting beliefs. I will explain what a limiting belief is (including some personal examples). How they hold us back from having the amazing relationships, sex lives, (not to mention careers, feelings, and financial abundance) that we secretly desire.
Then, lastly what we can do to let go of our limiting beliefs and replace them with new healthier, more positive and life affirming beliefs that will get us moving forward to having the desires we don’t believe we can have. I even have a special surprise for you.
So, what is a limiting belief? Pretty simple – it is a belief that could be conscious or subconscious that we have picked up along the way (usually in early childhood but not always) that limits us from our fullest potential.
Negative or limiting beliefs are nothing to be ashamed of. They are something every single person experiences, including the most famous writers, speakers and spiritual “gurus.”
Some examples of belief systems I had:
I had a belief that marriage was unexciting, and more about partnership than passion.
I also believed that if I was confident and proud that I would be stuck up and conceited.
Do you believe you can’t be a sex goddess and a mom?
Do you believe you are not good enough to _____________?
Do you believe in order to get what you want from your partner you need to attract their attention negatively?
Because I had this belief system about marriage I started to experience that belief in my own marriage.
When I recognized that my relationship was starting to feel unexciting, and lacking in the passion department I had to examine it (especially because this is my work- thoughts like I am a fraud, I shouldn’t be teaching about this, what will people think if they find out…all fears that we will talk about next week). I realized with the help of my friend, Kristin Planinz, that there was indeed a limiting belief system that was starting to manifest.
Limiting beliefs can make you feel guilty, ashamed and even isolated because there is a conflict from what you internally know is not true and what your subconscious believes is true. They stop you from connecting and experiencing yourself at your highest potential because there is part of you that is stuck in this limiting belief. These beliefs can and probably have affected your sex life BIG TIME. Whether you believe you aren’t good enough, sexy enough, beautiful enough, skillful enough, smart enough, etc. KNOW that what you are experiencing is a limiting belief that does not have to be your reality.
Here are 5 steps I have personally used to let go of limiting beliefs I have had.
Recognize it. What limiting beliefs might you have? You will know it is limiting because you have a true desire for essentially the opposite – it is just this belief that makes you think you can’t have that experience or thing.
Question when your belief was formed and how. It was probably a combination of situations from early childhood.
Be willing to release. You may find this belief hard to let go because for so many years you have made it a reality. The universe will keep assuring us of any belief we have. If you believe there are no good men out there, chances are you are going to keep being really aware of all the not so good men. So once you recognize that thought/belief, question why it was formed and come into a place of being willing to release that belief you will be able to start letting it go.
You can do this in a time of relaxation and meditation. With your eyes closed, your breathing deep and relaxed you can say to yourself “I willingly release my need to believe _________________.” OR “I willingly release my belief that __________.”
Replace that old belief with a new one. For example my marriage is filled with love, excitement, passion and play, or I am a better mom because I am following my heart and my dreams, while still making my children my priority or I get positive attention from my partner daily by giving him positive attention and love.
Repeat, feel and start to really believe. Use your new healthy belief as an affirmation or saying that you use throughout the day particularly when you wake up and before you go to bed in addition to any times throughout the day where you might be more susceptible to be drawn to your old limiting belief.
Now if you have had this belief for a long time, then it may take some time to replace it. Sometimes those old beliefs will rear their ugly heads in moments of stress and weakness. This is normal. It certainly happens to me. Just when I think I’ve got it down monkey mind and it’s dirty tricks will start to bring up anything it can keep that old belief going.
So don’t get discouraged. You’ve got this. All you’ve got to do is be aware and acknowledge when these thoughts come up.
And remember you don’t have to do it all alone. Sometimes we need a second pair of eyes and ears to help us see and hear what is going on.
You can ask for help.
As a special gift – I have opened up 5 spots this month for a free Get Your Sexy On Breakthrough (phone) Session where we will go over your biggest fears, frustrations and problems, what you are desiring to experience instead, and what limiting beliefs, fears, etc. are holding you back from having those desires. You will leave your session with more energy and motivation plus a specific challenge from me to move towards letting go of the fears and beliefs so you can move forward and have the sex life and relationship you’ve dreamed of, both with yourself and your partner.
Challenge: Share one belief system you are ready to let go of below.