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5 Scary Things That Are Keeping You From Your Desires

by Allison Braun on April 20, 2012

After an awesome night with an intimate group of amazing people at the recent Desire Party I feel so inspired by the power of connection and community.

One attendee said as she was leaving “I feel like I am in a room with friends.” “You are!” was the response.  We had a couple hours of great conversation and discussion on the topic of Desire.  So first I thought I would share with you what we came up with as our definition of desire and then the 5 Scary Things That Are Keeping Your From Your Desires.  Enjoy!

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Desire Party Post-its!

It was so beautiful to witness this group open up about intimate desires and what desire means to them.  The general description of desire that seemed to resonate with the group was this:

Your hearts pull or drive towards your purpose.  Something that keeps you moving forward in life.  We also discovered that in our definition of desire it doesn’t necessarily mean instant gratification or even happiness – sometimes it means taking the path less traveled – potentially even a more challenging or painful path.  BUT, also, much more rewarding and soul satisfying.

We also decided that desire can also mean more material things that represent something along our path towards our purpose.  It could be as simple as investing in a new wardrobe, coach or piece of jewelry that represents taking a step or leap onto a new journey, a symbol that we are worth it or a reminder of what we are working towards.

We also discussed things that can hold us back from going for our desires.

Here are the 5 Big Things that came up during our discussion that could be holding you back from your desires. 

 

Ego vs. Source and the uncertainty of knowing what we are listening to.

Solution: Tapping into Source (whatever you connect with) and taking the time to ask and receive guidance.

 

Fear.

Solution:  Acknowledging that often the worst case scenario is very unlikely or not as bad as we had made it out to be.  Also, that the best case scenario is almost always worth going for even with the risk of the worst case scenario.  We ended up with the conclusion that the worst case scenario is often the result of NOT going for the best case.  For more about fighting your fears click here.

 

Not wanting to hurt others.

So often we make choices based on how we think others will react.  How many of you have stayed in a relationship longer than you wanted to in order to “protect” the other person or even yourself.  Have you chose an activity or outfit based on how you thought someone else would react instead of what you really wanted to do or wear?  You may want to ponder if really you are just protecting yourself from having the feeling of hurting someone else’s feelings, or not making someone else happy.  When it all comes down to it when you are happy and following your desires everyone around you benefits.  Whether you or they realize it now, in the long run following your desire is for the best.

 

Guilt.

Guilt, interestingly enough, serves no purpose; there are no lessons to learn from it.  In the realm of desires guilt often comes up because we don’t feel like we deserve something or we feel if we have or achieve something we are taking away from someone else.  We must TRUST that there is more than enough and by having or experiencing what our heart (vs. ego) truly desires that there is nothing to feel guilty about and all we can do is just set the guilt aside.

 

Past religious beliefs.

Often there are religious beliefs or lessons we were taught at a younger age.  Perhaps to protect us, perhaps to instill fear, or perhaps it was the only way the person who taught us knew.  Now, however, you are an adult and you get to come to your own conclusions.  This religious belief that is keeping you from your hearts greatest desire MAY no longer be serving you.  If that is the case you can re-evaluate your beliefs, keep what feels good to you and let go of the rest.

 

One of the biggest things that stood out for me was a reminder to connect to your heart, inner wisdom/guide or God/Source/Universe in order to receive clarity or guidance and then from that place TRUST.

Trust that when you follow your true desires unabashedly that it is in the best interest not only for you but all those around you (even though they may not realize it at the time).

There will be more Desire Parties to come but until then be sure to take some time to get grounded, seek source and discover your deepest desires.   From that space you can start take actions steps to experiencing that desire.

Remember, the only thing worse than not going for your desires is not knowing them!

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Our Post-its FULL of Desires (big and small)!

Have you noticed one (or more) of the 5 things blocking you from your desires?  Which ones? If so, have you overcome it?  What did you do?  Still working on it?  Let us know what action steps you are going to take to help clear the path to your desires.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather April 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Allison – this is an amazing post. So many things resonate. I look forward to attending a desire night in the future.

Much love,
Heather

Reply

Allison Braun April 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm

So glad you were able to connect. Can’t wait for the next Desire Party and it will be so wonderful to have you there! <3

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Ande Lyons April 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Allison!

I wish I lived closer… I would have LOVED your Desire Party! Thank you for bringing awareness to such an important topic for women and men. Deepening intimacy with our Beloved Partner and our Beloved Self is what we are all craving.

Wishing you joy, love & laughter!

Ande

Reply

Allison Braun April 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Oh Ande – it would have be so fun to have you there! You’ll have to throw one over in Boston! <3

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Sarah April 21, 2012 at 4:29 am

I desire another desire party ;) Bravo Allison. This is a powerful idea that brings together powerful people. It was an amazing night. I have my post it notes up where I can see ‘em.

Reply

Allison Braun May 2, 2012 at 5:13 am

Awesome Sarah! Your desire shall be manifested indeed! I agree it was an amazing night with powerful people. Can’t wait to hear about all the desires you continue to manifest. Thank you for participating in the in the event Sarah and looking forward to having you at the next one as well!

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