Confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement. 

What happens when we don’t have self-confidence?  When we don’t believe in our abilities, qualities and judgement we stay stuck.  We don’t follow our dreams because we don’t believe we get there.  We don’t try something we might like {or someone we love my like us to do} because we are afraid we won’t be good at it.  We are unsure of ourselves and it shows.

In order to be the best “you” you can best you’ve gotta believe in yourself and have that confidence!  Confidence is sexy, attractive and feels damn good.  When you are confident you stand out, people notice you and all the while you feel awesome!

For most of my life I had very low self-confidence.  I was paralyzed by fear of not being good enough and not being liked.  I hid by not shining my bright {confidence} light…and wondered why no one ever came to talk to me.  I always felt like something was wrong with me.  I couldn’t approach someone to talk to, let alone speak in front of people – they would judge me and that would be painful.

So what has changed between now and then?

For the most part I look the same – I didn’t have this miraculous physical change that made me feel more confident.  What happened was I started to believe in myself.  I started to love and embrace my qualities that were a little different and I started to trust myself and my decisions.  Now don’t get me wrong I still have my moments, like we all do, where I question myself.  But now they are only moments, not hours, days, weeks, months and years.   And that feels good.

So how did I go from hiding out in the corner of the room, slouched and seemingly invisible to rockin’ runways and dancing on stage in front of thousands of people {not to mention going after my now husband,  making videos for the world to see, teaching workshops and just generally putting my true self out there every day}??

“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.”

These are 3 of my keys to confidence.

*Read below for more juicy details plus a chance for a free Get Your Sexy On Breakthrough Session with me!

1. Get to know yourself…really well!

Try new things, try old things, observe your skills, talents and passions and be curious.  Spend time doing the things you really love and also the things you are naturally talented and skilled at.  You can even date your sexy self.

The more you get to know yourself the less likely you are to rely on someone else’s opinion.  The better you know yourself the less likely you are to be affected by someone else’s opinion of you.

You already know you love doing __________ and you aren’t that good at it, but who cares you love it!  You already know you’ve got a freakishly long neck…but you love it because it makes you unique.  You already know that you are great in bed because you enjoy it, and you also know you can always improve even more.

The more you embrace who you are, exactly how you are – the good and the not so good – the more you can create your life exactly how you want it to be.  With confidence.  As a side benefit you will also get more clarity on your passions and your purpose which creates even more confidence.

Side note:  If you are like I was you might be thinking if you start feeling and being confident that you will start being “cocky,” this is not the case.  You can still be modest {free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretension} while being proud and confident.

2.  Stand tall.

Now I will be honest this is the one I have the hardest time with.  I have to remind myself daily (sometimes hourly) to stand and sit tall.  I spent years trying to hide by slouching.  This old habit is dying hard BUT it is still dying, and every day it gets easier.

A great tool my coach, Kris Ward, taught me is to elongate the neck and then wiggle back my head as if putting it against a headrest in a car seat.  Doing this is all it takes now for the rest of my body to fall into place and to feel like a whole new person.

Try this:  Slouch for 30 seconds, hunch over your shoulders, no muscles contracted in the abdomen, neck forward.  Observe how that feels, what thoughts go through your mind?

Then elongate your spine and neck, imagine a string attached to the top of your head pulling it straight up.  Feel your ab muscles stretch and tighten.  Feels so different right?  When I do this I literally feel like I am on top of the world.

So start being aware of your posture throughout the day, observe when you find it easiest to stand tall, or when you are most likely to slouch.

There are certain things that make it easy for me to stand tall and walk with a strut, especially a great outfit and my hubby’s tunes in the ipod.  What makes you stand tall and walk proud?

Here is a picture of me workin’ Fashion Week in one of Temna Fialka’s amazing designs.

At the moment this pic was taken I felt like a freakin’ Amazon Goddess!

 3.  Get Comfy In Your Body.

Start lovin’ and feelin’ your body.  I have designed an exercise that has helped me and my clients get into our bodies and really embrace and love ourselves including our pelvic region.  I am giving this exercise to you as a gift.  Just enter your name and email on the right or below this article so I can send it right to your email.  This is a two part exercise, the first part is something I do everyday and it is so invigorating!  The cool thing about it is you can make it your own.  For bonus points today you can think of a positive affirmation, for example:

“I believe in myself and feel good in my body”

“Today I stand tall”

“I love my legs/thighs/arms/waist/body…”

Incorporate this affirmation by thinking it or saying it out loud while doing part one of the exercise.

Part two of this exercise is designed specifically for women {sorry guys} to help you get more comfortable with your sexual being and desires.  The adventurous ones will try this part too

So your challenge for the week is to get to know yourself better and do the things you are passionate about and love, to stand tall and be conscious of your posture and to try my free exercise once a day {at least part one, super challenge is part two}.

By the time next week’s Sexy Friday comes around you could taking on the world with a whole new level of confidence.  Just think about where you could be next year with this new found self-confidence.  Feeling happier, sexier, and more proud of yourself.  What could you do with your new level of confidence??

Comment below and share your thoughts on self-confidence.  Has low self-confidence been holding you back from something? What could you do with more self-confidence?  Share below.  And if you liked this article, don’t keep it to yourself – sharing is sexy

Need extra help with your confidence, with believing in yourself and letting go of negative judgement?   You can apply for a complimentary Get Your Sexy On Breakthrough Session. During this session we tackle your biggest frustration or challenge and get you to a place of inspiration and motivation.  I give you the tools to move forward and to start experiencing exactly what you want to experience instead.   Apply here for your FREE Get Your Sexy On Breakthrough Session.

“Don’t wait until everything is just right.  It will never be perfect.  There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.  So what.  Get started now.  With each step you take you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self confident and more and more successful.” - Mark Victor Hansen

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